Have you ever noticed how two people can face the exact same change — a job shift, a move, a new chapter — and react in completely different ways?
One sees a cliff edge.
The other sees a doorway.

I’ve been writing a lot about career transition lately, because several friends are navigating difficult journeys and I wanted to offer a helping hand. Today, I’d like to talk about why some people love change, whilst others find it quietly terrifying — and why neither response is wrong.

Change, whilst a part of life, is harder for some people to adapt to than others.
For some, change is a time of opportunity and adventure.
For others, it is scary and incapacitating.
This is because we all see the world through different lenses, shaped by the life we’ve experienced.

If you value certainty and stability, then change is typically backed by fear of the unknown and can be linked to a sense of panic. The colleague who needs a detailed plan before taking a step? The friend who triple-checks everything before agreeing to anything new? They’re simply trying to stay safe in a world that once taught them unpredictability equals danger.

But if you value variety, then change isn’t as frightening because you see it as a chance to open new doors. You might even know someone who thrives on novelty — the person who says yes before they know the details, or who feels energised the moment something shifts. They’re not reckless; they’ve simply learned that change isn’t something to fear.

Neither response is wrong, but one can cause paralysis, whilst the other creates anticipation.

How are we shaped toward one or the other?

Certainty-focused people are often shaped by an overprotective parent — someone who tells their child what to do and how to live. They may be opinionated and strong-minded, believing their way is the right way and no other way will do. Other parents control out of fear, driven by their own life experiences.

Whatever the case, their children learn to please.
They become scared to step outside the box, and the mould of certainty is cast.
They internalise: “If I do A, the result is B.” The unknown becomes unsafe, and stepping off the familiar path risks disapproval.

This disapproval may come through anger, silence, or the withdrawal of affection — all painful for a child. And so a need for certainty begins.

These children often grow up to be orderly, attentive to what others think, and committed to not rocking the cultural boat. They like to know where everything is, how people will respond, and what to expect from each day. They’ve learned that if they do their best and follow the rules, life is safe and love is present.

As they mature, go to work, and meet new people, this pattern continues. They believe that if they do things the “right way,” they will be liked, appreciated, and valued.

The problem with this rigid framework is that life doesn’t play by those rules. You either try to control every inch of your environment — or eventually get pushed outside your comfort zone. And because business is business — sometimes up, sometimes down — curve-balls are inevitable. When you expect life to behave, these curve-balls hit harder.

By contrast, people who grow up with constant change — sometimes associated with fun and adventure — are far less concerned about rocking the boat called life. In fact, the less risk-averse may even push the boat themselves, shaking up the waters just to see what new horizon might appear.

They do experience doubt (we all do), but they don’t let it consume them. In no time at all, they turn change into opportunity, replacing fear with a sense of excitement for what the future could hold.

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Wherever you fall — certainty, adventure, or somewhere in between — understanding your relationship with change is the first step to navigating life with more confidence, courage, and choice.

Tomorrow, I will share an exercise with you, so you can decide whether you lean toward certainty or uncertainty, so don’t forget to drop in. Better understanding who you are could be the key to your success.